A-T-I

All families are unique in their own way. My family is no exception. I grew up in a very close knit family - my mom's side family as well as my dad's side family. They were very different families but were both very close knit.

My dad's side of the family were definitely more loud, most of them had a very dominating character, they were people who would share a loud laugh - including the women (my grandmother and her siblings were the loudest!) Coming from India where women are anything but dominating (my grandmom's generation) and loud.

This post is for my aunt - a.k.a Ati. She is my dad's cousin (first cousin). She completed 60 years on Sept 2nd, 2010. I just don't believe she is 60 years old - she is someone who personifies young and cheerful, not someone who can be 60 years old. Something does not seem right when I think that she is 60 years old!

We grew up living very close to each other - literally 5-7 mins walk from each other. Her kids (my second cousin's - Dada and Sameet) are similar ages to me and my sister. We grew up together, went on trips together, celebrated birthday's, celebrated rakhsa-bandhan, bhaubiz, and shared many more dinners, car rides together. Every event that included Ati was something we looked forward to. She had, and still does have a way of turning the most boring event into an event filled with fun and laughter. She had a way to charm the audience no matter the age of her audience. She always has something for everyone.
When we went on road trips - they were mostly to places close to Goa - like Belgaum, Amboli - my sister and I always went in Ati's car. Not that they had a fun car or anything - the car did not matter,  it was bound to be fun when Ati was around.  She had a way to entertain and that entertainment was just narrating tales that were fun, and she would always associate some song with a situation. It was amusing.

I still remember the trip we made to Belgaum - I do not remember the purpose of the trip. But she loves ice-cream and we went to this really cool ice-cream place that had very exotic ice-creams. Basically sundae's with different fruit/nut toppings. In the mid-80's that was very exotic, and not something you got in Goa. I remember her sons, and I ordered Vanilla ice-cream. She literally acted like she did not know us when the waiter arrived to take our order. She always got the most exotic ice-cream or chocolate.

For our birthdays, she always got us very unique presents! She knew what to get and at what age - that was the present you looked forward to open. Or save it for the end - you knew it was going to be good.
Every raksha-bandhan, she always had the best rakhi for my dad - every year they got better and better - they were the best sold in the market, and she also had a song that went with the rakhi she sang as she tied the rakhi to my dad. Same with bhaubiz, there was always a new song every year ! That kind of enthusiasm is infectious - some has brushed on me but nothing at that level.

We had a trademark picture that we took with her in the middle, and me and my sister on each side. I do not have the picture when we were little.  We did version 2.0 of that picture during my wedding reception - and yea, both me and sister were 20 years or something older, but Ati had the same infectious enthusiasm.

At my wedding reception, November 2005.

I got to spend a little more time with Ati for Dada's wedding, but not a lot of quality time.  But I saw her enthusiasm as she welcomed her daughter-in-law. I could see that she was greeting the new member in their family with the same enthusiasm. I am sure she is a fine mother-in-law. I am sure Sunaina has a good time chatting with her, and sharing a part of her life with her. There is never a dull moment when Ati is around.

When I look back to all the times we had together with Dada and Sameet - I always wonder how my parents had the time or rather how they made time for every child's birthday, every adult's birthday, and wedding anniversaries, and other casual dinners. Also, what stands out to me is how close of cousins my dad and Ati were. That family or rather extended family closeness is very unique and growing up I saw how our families were really there for one another. Since me, and my sister did not have a brother, Dada and Sameet were like brothers to us. There wasn't a question in my mind for every Raksha-bandhan whom I was tying a rakhi to! Our family made raksha-bandhan and bhaubiz a very grand celebration. Those were really fun times, and Ati of course made them more fun!


Now that Dada, Sameet, Shubhra, and I are literally on different continents, the distance has made the same relationships we once had a little distant. We are now "in touch" on "Facebook", or "Orkut" or "Skype". These social networking sites do help - i.e. we can see what each of us are doing, and what is going on in each of our lives, but what is missing is that these experiences are not shared or that same togetherness does not exist. I can see that we have additional responsibilities to make sure the next generation knows their cousins. How we do it is a challenge, and just like my parents, and Ati's family took the time to build strong bonds we will need to do the same - possibly over Skype or something similar.