Transitions

It's been a while since I wrote something - honestly last few weeks have been very tiring, and a little bit stressful. They say "When it rains, it pours!" - not exactly that bad, but we had a little bit of pouring rain and I'm hoping we have good weather for a little while.

My son who is now 9 months old had a few rough weeks, and he went through a lot of transitions during that time. When he was around 8 months - he went through what they call "separation anxiety" and started to discern his affection between me and other family members. I have always been a person who needs her space, keeps a safe distance - I get close to very few people, and I like to have my time - time for myself. The same person was also going through a transition along with the li'l guy.

Adhrit has made his way straight to my heart - I now know why cupid is frequently show shooting his bow into the heart. Adhrit has done just that. The same person I described earlier has forgotten what she once was - or rather has a big exception when it comes to Adhrit. When I think about my love for him - its tough to put it into words let alone type it on the keyboard.

Since he was around 6 months old, he started to understand that I'm his mom, and he started showing a separate kind of affection/trust in me. The smile, and joy on his face when I got home to see him for lunch or got home from work - no camera could capture that emotion, but it is a picture that is well captured in my mind and heart. He made me feel very special, and I loved it. We got very close since then, and around 8 months it peaked where he would not want to let go of me! The same person who wanted her space, had no space !!!

Today he and I went for a run early in the morning, and I realized - when it came to him, a lot of things just did not matter. I moulded myself like plastic being poured into a mould, or like a skirt that moulds the figure of a well shaped woman!

While the separation anxiety was happening to the li'l guy, his grand parents who took care of him for 3 months (since he was around 5 months) left for India, his nanny who loved him, and cared for him like his mom (sometimes she would give in more than his mom!) also decided to quit, and we had to enroll him in a day care. Huge transition for a kid who was used to 5 people taking care of him or rather a 1:5 ratio to a 5:1 ratio, someone who was rocked/strolled/patted to sleep to just being "put to sleep" in a play pen! Now that I put this down, I realized how much of a transition it was for him.

Initially, I tried to resist the changes that were happening to him, trying to go back to the nanny, but something in me kept me going and sane. I realized that the transition is a good one for him, and the rough 2 weeks that he might have will help him be a different child. I kept reminding myself of the positives that this transition would bring to him. On the first day, he refused to take a sip of liquid, or a byte of food! I went to feed him over lunch, and made sure there were only 2-3 hours between him being in the day care. Around day 4, he accepted his care-giver there, and in a week was more relaxed. Dropping off was hard, but I made sure I was upbeat and always told him "I Love you, and will see you soon". I would sit in the car and would really try hard not to have tears roll down my cheeks. Those were some tough days. Having support of my husband, my parents, and close friends really helped go through this phase. My boss at work was also very supportive, and excused me if I had to rush to the day care to take care of Adhrit. It's been three weeks now, and he seems relaxed and settled at the day care, but the li'l guy went through another transition!

His crib used to be in our bedroom, and around 7 months, he started spending more time in our bed than in his crib at night. This started when he was teething - he had three teeth come out at once! But the few weeks before that were rough on him, and I used to have him close to me so he felt comforted. That soon became a norm for him and he started resisting his crib. We did not mind having him in our bed but that meant he slept as many or as little hours as us - which is between 5-6 hours each night. A baby at that age should typically sleep 11-13 hours at night ! So he was getting 1/2 the sleep - imagine how you would feel getting 2-3 hours of sleep! At his 9 month check-up the doctor recommended to move him to his own room and that would solve this problem. Luckily this was a month after we started day care. She told us about her son and how it helped him. Many friends had also suggested that to us, but I think it coming from the doctor hit home run. Once again, I looked at what we were going to get as a result of this transition for him. A rested baby - and more rested parents! I have not slept more than 3-4 hours at a stretch for the last 9 months.

After the appointment, with a very heavy heart my husband moved Adhrit's crib into the next room. After our normal bedtime ritual - we put him in his crib, and left. He protested a lot - his cry was more of a protest/complain, and it was sporadic - but after 40 minutes, he finally settled himself to sleep. He woke up few times at night, and I was there with him, consoled him, and put him back in his crib. That was "night 1". Night 2 was a lot more different - he settled himself down in 15 minutes, and he put himself back to sleep in a matter of a few minutes. I saw him early in the morning and he and I went for a run after a bottle of milk. And that's when I thought of all in this post! "Night 3" was completely different which is when I'm writing this post - we got back from our Thursday night swim, he had a good dinner, drank his milk, and he was out like a light after our bedtime ritual and when I placed him in his crib - he settled himself down in a position he sleeps in and is sleeping since!

This post has been inspired by a post I read today from Kristin Armstrong:
Ten Steps